A Year-Long Fast from Media

What Is a Media Fast?
I have just completed a one-year fast from all unnecessary media. Yes, really! So what exactly does that mean “to fast from all unnecessary media”? Well, you can probably guess that it means no movies or video games. And you would be right. But media encompasses so much more than that. In Media Addicts Anonymous (MAA), their literature states: “We support all forms of media sobriety, including abstinence from electronic media, film, radio, newspapers, magazines, books, and music.” My own personal definition of media is anything that numbs you out to help you escape from your daily life and inner thoughts. So I have just spent the last 365 days not only abstaining from TV and movies and videos on YouTube (AND Instagram, AND Facebook), but I also have not listened to music, audiobooks, podcasts, or kept up with the news. I also stopped doing word puzzles on my phone (yes, that includes Wordle) and stopped reading all fiction books. I also limited my other computer and phone use to “necessary” media for work, health, and family. Some days, that often limited me to email, texts, and phone calls. So why would I make this drastic move, and what’s the point of doing a media fast? Well it started when I came to the realization that I was a media addict. And I did a media fast to recover my sanity and to save my soul!

My Media Story
My actual media story started many years ago with my use of TV, movies, and audiobooks for escapist pleasure. Nothing that unusual in this media-obsessed world. I honestly thought nothing about listening to my favorite Jane Austen books over and over again. Or watching movies all day on a Saturday afternoon. Or binge-watching all nine seasons of The Office because, you know, “everyone” does that. However, two years ago something switched in my brain. I started listening to audiobooks and podcasts nearly round the clock — I had my earbuds in from the moment I woke up until I finally went to sleep late at night. On top of that, YouTube and Facebook videos hooked me in. Hour after hour, I kept watching — both mesmerized and disgusted at the same time. I didn’t enjoy these inane useless videos, but I kept craving more. I would also watch these videos instead of doing my work. Or sometimes I would do my work while watching YouTube on my phone next to my computer. One Sunday, I didn’t even get out of bed — I lay there for 13 hours straight watching videos on my phone. This was a new low for me. I told myself it was time to quit, and at that same moment, I realized I no longer could.

How I Started My Fast
I was already a member of another 12-step program (Al-Anon) and understood how 12-step programs function and how to work the steps. However, it took me months before I would step into the rooms of MAA. I could admit that my phone was becoming a bit of a problem, but I wasn’t that bad. Everyone is on their phones nowadays, right? It took me several more months to understand the addictive nature of media and to admit I could not handle this on my own. I remember being so incredibly nervous going to my first MAA meeting online. What would these people talk about? Do I really NEED to say I’m an addict? Despite all of my misgivings, I immediately felt at home. I could relate to every single person’s share in such a personal way. I understood the cravings they described and the self-loathing for wasting so many years of their life on stupid media. I identified with the late night binges and the regret in the morning. And I completely related to that lack of time they all talked about. I never had enough time — I was late for everything. I knew I was in the right place.

The meeting I attended turned out to be a nightly meeting. One of the MAA tools we read that night focused on fasting from unnecessary media as one of the keys to recovery:


Fasting is an essential tool if someone sincerely desires relief from media addiction. It is the tourniquet we use to stop the bleeding. We strongly advocate fasting from unnecessary media long enough to break the compulsive cycle. By fasting from all media except what is necessary for work, school, or family needs, we see our media addiction with greater clarity, detoxify our minds and bodies from the overuse of media, and begin to connect to ourselves and others in deeper and healthier ways.
From the Tools of Action for Media Addicts

So that first night, I told my new group that I would turn off my phone after the meeting and not look at it until the morning. I honestly didn’t know if I could do it, but I would try. And the next morning, I felt so proud of myself for that ounce of sanity I decided to stay off media for the rest of that day. I remember thinking to myself that if I could stay off media for 24 hours, I could report my progress to my new MAA friends that night. And I did it! They all cheered for me, and I felt hope. I then did a 2nd and a 3rd day. Then a whole week. I’d like to say that I stopped media then and there, but I had some starts and stops that first month. Nevertheless, on November 27th, 2024, I began what would eventually become a one-year long media fast.

At first, it was so difficult to stay off media. My days felt endlessly long. Suddenly, instead of watching my normal 8 hours of YouTube and Netflix, I now had 8 hours to fill. But with what? I started focusing more on my job and realized that I could keep up with the work better if I did my work during the day instead of cramming it in at the last minute late at night. I made friends in the program and we talked daily, helping each other to stay sober. I started meditating and journaling — something I had always wanted to do but never had the time for. I also started turning off my phone at night and giving myself a bedtime. This was something new for me. I never set an actual bedtime before! And now, here I was going to sleep before 10PM and waking at 6AM Who is this person?!

Working the Steps
After three months of fasting, I realized I needed to also work the steps. MAA offers an intensive three-month program called Back to Basics where you fast from media and work the steps with other media addicts. I had heard that Back to Basics was a lot of work, so it was with much hesitation and hand-wringing that I finally decided to join the next group. Because I was already fasting, I mostly had to just focus on doing the step work. I really didn’t have high expectations since I had done the steps before, but because my brain was now clear, the step work had more meaning to me than ever before. I saw how my media use was connected to my unhappiness at my job. I saw how stuck I felt in my life. My media wasn’t the problem — it was just a symptom. The real problem was a feeling of deep despair and loneliness. I was also filled with constant terror about my future. The media numbed my feelings so I didn’t have to continually think about my problems. Media was protecting me from myself — that is until it didn’t work anymore.

During my Back to Basics I wrote out a 10-page 4th step digging through every last resentment and fear. I wrote down even the smallest misgivings including that time, 10 years ago, when my friend planted a tree for me in the wrong spot. I vigorously wrote out my 8th step amends list and by the time I was done with Back to Basics, I had made every amend on my 9th step. I also found a Higher Power of my understanding. Like really! A loving Higher Power which I could connect with on a daily basis. For me, this was a completely new understanding of the 12 Steps. And I realized that when I had done the steps before in my other program, I had still been using media. I always intended to journal and do a 10th step at night, but I never made the time for it. This time was different. Without the distraction of media, I could focus all of my energy on my recovery work. And little by little my life started changing. And small miracles started happening.

Finding Miracles Everywhere
My first miracle was that my job became tolerable and even interesting at times. I took more time to focus on the work and even enjoyed some parts of it. And when I got the work done in a timely manner, I had guilt-free weekends where I could plan hikes or outings with friends. I still didn’t like the job, but I could make it work for a while. My second miracle was an unexpected trip to Asia. My niece needed someone to accompany her for a medical procedure. I felt so grateful both for a trip abroad and to be of service to my niece. However, I was nervous about a 20-hour plane ride with no media and with everyone else on the plane watching a movie. I told my niece this, and she said, “Well, I’ll just fast from media, too!” And she did. The trip was amazing, and my niece and I traveled well together talking and playing cards at night. We never turned on a TV the entire trip. My third miracle came when I found out I was eligible to get dual citizenship in another country. This realization suddenly opened up my eyes to new possibilities — I could work, live, and maybe retire overseas. This was the dream that I hadn’t allowed myself to say out loud — I want to live overseas! Perhaps this dream could be my way out from feeling stuck at this job and this life.

Living a Life Without Media
So that’s what I have been doing the rest of my year without media. My free time has been filled with research about my ancestors and applying for citizenship. I’ve also bought a half dozen books on living abroad, retirement planning, and figuring out how to get rid of all the stuff in my house. I’ve joined a gym and go there most mornings — at 6AM. (Jeez, who is this person?!) I regularly attend MAA and Al-Anon meetings, and I do service for both groups. I meditate and journal and listen for guidance from my Higher Power. My life is full. I feel a renewed sense of purpose. Nowadays, I don’t even know how I would fit in an hour of TV let alone the 8 hours I had become so accustomed to. And the truth is, I really don’t want to.

So how did I stay off media for so long? And why do I continue to abstain from nearly all media? The honest truth is that I am terrified of going back to that old life of feeling stuck and numb. I worry that if I start watching a TV show or a YouTube video I will get sucked back in. At my MAA meetings, I hear other people talk about relapsing, and I am eternally grateful that I am still media sober today. But my biggest fear is if I relapse, I may not find the power to get out a second time. My life is not perfect now. My job, while more bearable, is still exhausting and takes a toll on me physically and mentally. I have lost friendships this year, perhaps stemming from my media addiction. And the fast itself is difficult at times. I find it so hard to not watch the 21 TV screens at my gym. (Yes, 21!) And, of course, I still struggle to get my work done and find myself procrastinating at times. But it is also a beautiful life filled with new friends and new dreams. I don’t yet know my future plans. New job? Travel? Retirement? My Higher Power hasn’t given me the whole game plan yet, but She says I’m on the right path. I think I’ll keep listening.